I don’t exist. Something happened, and I dropped into oblivion. The secrets and darkness took over, my soul descended into a depth I would have never witnessed had it really been me. Those around me turned and took the higher road; I couldn’t reach. I tried. I held on as long as I could, wanting to scream and grab the hand of the closest being I could find, but I couldn’t. I drowned in my own saliva, my blood crawled at the thought of life…the monotony of taking another breath. There’s no way to understand, a word cannot describe the tangle of the mind. The incessant dripping of pinging disappointment at each turn. My smile made me look like a demon as I stood and stared at myself in the mirror. You ugly piece of shit. You have nothing and no one, yet I had everything and everyone. Blocking my heart from feeling that joy was a dark delirium of past potential stifled by an innocence completely lost. Fondled by a perverted ego, overshadowed by someone bigger, more powerful than the pebble of an infant. Grossly reminded of my misjudgment’s, each day passes with my ghost around those I love, each moment is a reminder of what I’ve done and who I deserted…that one time, I left without a voice in silence, knowing it would be better for them; they would live and love without me and they did.